The life guard jumps
in the pool even though nobody is drowning!
You only get 3 mpg due to the rate
at which gas evaporates out of your tank.
Your a/c runs all day long just
to keep it down to 90 degrees.
You'd pay $100 for 8 oz of water.
You have a car fire more than once
every 10 miles
the tools in your trunk are hotter
than your over-heating radiator
water turns to vapor before it comes out your garden hose thats been in the shade of the garden furniture
you can't remember your name
Lance Armstrong gets completely
worn out after riding 2 miles!
your whole car melted
birds crash into stuff
nobody shows up for your yard sale
there's 5 gallons of sweat built
up in the seat of your car
Everyone in the whole state is either
in their air conditioned car, office or house, or in the pool!
every traffic accident is a hit-and-run,
because nobody wants to get out of their car until they get to
an air conditioned building.
You notice your car overheating
before you drive it.
your car starts sweating!
cops only chase you if you exceed
100mph, because that's when their A/C really kicks in
you ask your boss for extra work
so you can be in the air conditioning as much as possible
you're not the only person in the
emergency room with a steering wheel stuck to his fingers
Hot air balloons can't go up, because
the air outside is hotter than the air inside.
Airplanes can't land because the
asphalt is too soft.
You need a spatula to remove your
the beer gut and big butt don't
keep you from wearing shorts.
You are sweating in both directions
-- up and down!
You can open and drive your car
without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
You would give anything to be able
to splash cold water on your face.
The politicians take their hands
out of your pockets to fan themselves.
People walking down the sidewalk
spontaneously burst into flames.
You've been getting hot flashes,
and you're a man.
A $20 surcharge is added to your
bill when you eat at air-conditioned restaurants.
Sunscreen is sold at the front of
the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 spf is a joke, and
you wear it just to go shopping.
Your brother's braces make blisters
on his lips.
You can attend any function wearing
shorts and a tank top.
You know that "dry heat"
is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your
You are willing to park 3 blocks
away because you found shade.
when even the weeds are wilting
The swans in the park come in "original
recipe" and "extra crispy."
it's above 100 degrees at midnight!
A scalding hot shower still cools
"Dress Code" is meaningless
at high schools and universities. Picture lingerie ads.
You can't remember which faucet
is the hot water and which is the cold water
You watch "The Day After Tomorrow"
and envy the people frozen in the snow.
You catch on fire.
when you floor your car and the
temp gauge buries be for the speedomter
You sit in your car with the AC
off and the windows closed just to cool down...
your cup of hot coffee gives YOU
the cactii are smoldering.
a '72 Impala overheats.
ice is on the endangered-species
Chickens are laying boiled eggs.
Archie looks like this
you reach for the seat belt and
you get second degree burns from the metal part.
your HP 1740 burst int flames.
the thermometer says "get me
off the sun!"
you go to the sauna to cool off
when ur friends and u look like
a fish inside ur car cause the sweat has filled to the roof
when hell feels like it has frozen
you can fry an egg on the hood of
you eat an habernero and you can't
Your Gas Tank exlodes into flames
your car boils over sitting in the
the mercury in the thermoter bubbles.
you say not today honey
hey i don,t have to cut the grass
you dont get charged with indecent
when your arm pits need windshield
The sun scares the clouds away
The north pole is an ideal getaway
People start to move to Fargo North
yer tires melt to the road
your Ford Taurus Transmission overheats,
oh wait, that's all the time. :( (WTFG Ford!)
when youre '72 impala bursts in
when youre swetin in a 32 degree
pool of water
you get a burnt in the shade
When you date a fat chick just for
Minions from Hell go there for vacation,
but return home early to get relief from the heat.
When you're at the zoo and you jump
in the Polar Bear exibit.
when you turn on the heat to cool
when you drink water and it evaporates
before you can drink it
When your gas pedal melts to the
You move to Louisiana to cool off.
when people are running every where
without any clothes on
The metal on your seat acts as a
when your crapy toyta burst's into
when your ford over heats
chrysler interiors melt. Hey that
happens all the time!
you say im melting
Cactus look for shade
You can cook your dinner on the
If you have a red Impala and it
fades to pink.
When you bake brownies in your mailbox.
when the water in your water bottle
evapourate's Before you Open it
you're relieved to hear it will
only be 106 degrees today.
You buy a bag of ice with the groceries
just to sit on it for the ride home
you dont have to diet to loose weight,
just sweat off the pounds
u cant get your car open
You are in the middle of the dezzert
and your car brakes down and you have no water
you are too skinny and you die of
how skinny you are
the world caches fire and turns
you died by melting
you stick to the vinyl seat with
through your jeans
when the north pole melts due to
arizona's reflective heat
being recluse is seen as actually
being a kool and in thing to be
when you ordered meat and u got
u look out side and see red
air conditioning sales are through
you steal the ice machine from the
you floor it but find out the floor
melted so you "air it"
toyota makes a recall due to spontaneous
you would rathere live in the ice
age then living where you are
people on the highway move 5 mph
because the tires are to sticky for the road
leaving the lights on for more than
one minute is practicly a death sentence
Hell seems like antarctica
When theres skateboarders in your
people pray for a blizzard or a
thoughts of a hurricaine seem refreshing.
you say that it im moving to alaska.
After you paint flames on your car,you
don't have to remove the masking tape.
The white towel over the steering
wheel was your best investment ever.
The BBQ grill Black primer on your
59 Belair is fading and needs a re-paint.
The white interior of the 57 Chevy
is 50 deg. cooler than the gold in the 67.
You hate palm trees because they
are useless and produce no shade.
You have to Re-solder the pc's on
your kenwood CD player about every 2 weeks
The Beer, Ice Cold Beer gets warm
bfore you get home with it.
You can leave the car windows down
parked in a monsoon,and it will completly dry in 45 minutes.
You pull over in Laveen and jump
in the irragation canal to cool off.
You have never seen a Vynil top.
You have never seen a old Impala
convertible with a back window.
Meth sales are Bad.
My left inner tie-rod melted.
My 60 Impala has Fused to to car
next to it.
You can weld on a glasspack muffler
with a metal coathanger and no torch.
You have to Re-tape the busted window
on the 57 Plymouth about every other day.
You keep a Six-Pack of Delco Remy
Starters in a cooler in the trunk.
Its May, June, July, August, or
You actually hose down your cars
vynal interior so you can sit down.
You get pulled over and the cop
never gets out of his car, he just sits there for a few then drives
You can grill steaks well done with
grill marks on your seat springs.
Last nights overnight low was 103
Pedestrians drop dead.
There are 2 suns in the sky.
The sun stays at high noon for 3
Your car windows melt.
Telephone poles combust.
You consider Iraq for vacation.
Your bag of ice melts before you
get it to the car.
You take a frozen pizza out of the
freezer and cook it on the countertop.
Your car is sagging in the center.
The parking lot at Wal Mart is on
Green lawns are only heard of in
Stop signs wilt.
No one but you lives there.
You literally drive your car into
You ran a stop light and instead
of hitting that other car, you drove right through it like melted
Your washing machine even dries
and fluffs your clothes.
That guy riding the bicycle just
started walking because his bike melted while he was riding it.
The prison burned down so all the
inmates are loose.
The cattle at the ranch are well
done and the cattle in the shade are medium rare.
Rain evaporates before it hits the
ground (the Virga effect)
Airplanes can't take off because
the air is too thin
You see people camped out in the
freezer section of your local supermarket.
your hair catches on fire
You have one of those top of the
back seat Explosions!!!
You had to remove the Hurst T-Handle.
You pour in another quart of Valvoline
Brakes start to fade at 6 mph!!!
You need shade for your Tools!!!
You burn your ass leaning on the
fender of a 68 Catalina.
My big floor jack sunk into the
street before lifting my Biscayne!!!
Tobassco sauce has a cooling menthol
Your Pontiac has buried all 3 temprature
You have installed Heat-shields
for your Heat-shields!!!
You can see the dashboard cracking
on the car next to you at the red light.
Mesa Cops have only written 277
Hood Hinges siezed-Up!!!
you have a sweaty ass
you know it's a hot Arizona day
when... the whole state declairs clothing banished Add your own
You know it's a hot Arizona day when... Add your own You know
it's a hot Arizona day when...
you get hot
When soliders would rather go back
to Iraq because its cooler!!!!
you don't need a fire to roast marshmallows!
you need new tires daily
your car is a sauna on wheels because
it has ABSOLUTELY!!! no AC
your biggest fear is faling from
a bike and getting burned by the pavement birds need pot holders
for the worms planes cannot take off from airport cant get thrust
over 120f TRUE dairy cows have fans going on them day and night
TRUE shopping c
The Devil is pissed off, Cause now
HELL has Competition.
your house go up in fire
only exhaust manifold paint won't
fade in the sun.
blue smoke comes out of your car
before you start it.
5 minutes outside and you have a
3rd degree sunburn, no matter what color you are.
a portable john seems cool and refreshing
you'd consider moving to Chicago in January (avg temp last year:-12)
We Run. But dont matter. Cause My Impalas STILL RUNS
you are reading this because you dont want to go to work,
You envy the kid in "a christmas story" who froze his tounge on a flagpole
You step out your door and your and you sink in the cement
you leave your CD in your player and it melts and ruins your day
you learned how to fit your family into the fridge
Shorts are considered business casual.
when you need to take a number to get into the produce section of the store
stop sweating the petty things and start petting the sweating things
Random cars randomly begin exploding in random places.
Steven, in Rowlett, Texas